Excuse Me, Stop Making Excuses for Yourself

2014 is coming to an end soon in about 20 days time!

That equates to:

480 hours

28800 minutes

1728000 seconds!

The big questions now are...

"How many of your goals set at the end of 2013 or the beginning of 2014 have you accomplished?"

"What excuses have you given yourself for NOT achieving those ticks?"

"What am you going to do with this remaining time?"

"Is your time for the rest of the 345 days, well spent?"

Of course, only you and yourself would know which are the goals you have really made a conscious effort to achieve, and even if you missed it, no one else can judge, but yourself. (Hooray and pop that champagne! Great efforts Mates!)

However, on the other spectrum, there are also who have come up excuse of all sorts to keep hold and at bay the tedious tasks of running after their goals.

(Come'on!! You know who you're! Quit that sheepish smile already!)

I'm no saint, and I admit, there are some things which I've managed to achieve so far, and also those which I chased after halfheartedly and yes... made excuses for too!

Which is why for a parting post of the year, I thought it will be good to write something that is going to aid in our 2015's New Year Resolutions again!

I believe it will be unfair to generalize excuse-makers as weak...lazy...etc etc..

We all indulge in excuses once in awhile (Judgement of Valid vs Invalid save for oneself) don't we?

There are typically two scenarios where I classify as a "lack of" mental toughness.

1) Times we felt the fire in our guts and started immediately on the tasks, and finished ahead of schedule.

2) Times we procrastinated and wasted precious time before starting anything; afterwards, that's where all the excuses start popping out like little sparks on why things weren't completed.

The first scenario is pretty straightforward, you put in the effort, you accomplished the goal or missed it by a certain mark. Fair enough. Case closed.

In the second scenario though, I would describe as a lack of mental toughness to push oneself on the first step. However, mental toughness or will power, or any terms which is used to coin the tenacity of one's mental capacity to push oneself through tasks; is usually not within our own control.

Good news is though, we can take steps to ensure a higher percentage of success rates

What are your priorities and top goals?

We all have to define and rank the priorities that is going take up the very limited 365 days we have each year. Conflicts are bound to happen; ranking our goals ensures and minimizes the occurrences of such conflicts and gives us a constant check-in on what's important.

Consider this:

Your wife is 8 months pregnant, delivering soon; and you're in the midst of taking your MBA, where research work on that report is going to be tedious as hell; while at the same time, your boss is going task you to travel 1008 miles across the globe to supervise some project going on.

So... How do you prioritize your objectives?

Building that family and relationship?

Graduating with that MBA you've always dreamed about?

Complete that work task or project and secure a promotion which equates to better finances for: the baby, the family and the bills etc?

Which ranks higher?

Setting priorities greatly reduces the need for excuses later on as it simplifies with clarity what is what with conflicting values.

Define where you want to focus your energies into: Major or Minor objectives

Consider the following scenario:

You're in a Armed Forces mission team, your main objective is to take a out a enemy base while other objectives are to collect any plausible Intel on remaining remnants of enemy combatants.

Get the picture?

In All: prioritize your goals into such that, the minor objectives become a "by the way" thing without forsaking them at all while, while devoting time and energy to the bigger picture

Prioritizing your objectives into a major focus and several minor focuses makes it harder for excuses. I simply think of my priorities whenever a conflict occurs; before I can think of any excuse.

When one's priorities are clear, it is that much difficult to justify making excuses for them.

Cheers!
Have a Great Final Sprint into the Year
Jason

Positivity - The Next Two Rules

In the last post, we spoke about the 1st two rules of positivity which we term as Self Speak. (Apologies by the way, for this long overdue follow up)

Today we look at the next two rules which to improve our positivity.

Rule 3 - Consciously improve your self-speak. When someone compliments you on something good, learn to follow up with something positive; saying it out loud will help you to strengthen your beliefs in it.

So when your gym trainer says "Your workout today on the treadmill went great!", reply with something like "Thanks! I've been working really hard to improve and I think it's working!" instead of "I think I was just lucky today"

"But won't that seem like over-inflating myself?"

Think about it:

1) You put in the efforts didn't you?

2) Don't you deserve to feel good about yourself ?

Yes! We all deserve and need to! 

Because no one else will do nor say the same good things to you, as well or as willing as yourself!

Old habits are hard to break, so if you've been full of negative self talk for years like most people, a few kind words to yourself aren't going to fix the problem overnight. What you have to learn is how to make a concentrated effort to have some daily "self-conversation" to start taking over the negative.

Rule 4 - use visualization to literally see yourself removing such bad programs from your brain just like you remove unwanted software from your PC and replace them with positive self talk. Tell yourself each new day:

"I'm ready for anything!"

"I'm confident of my ability to survive!"

"I'm ready to make the right decisions"

"I'm all set to win every challenge!"

And that's it! The total 4 rules of being positive.

Well.. talking to yourself might seem crazy at first, but Hey! if learning and understanding how your conscious and unconscious mind works allows you to gain that mental edge to perform at your peak, why not?!

Besides... we all speak to ourselves constantly, don't we?

Jason

Positivity - The 1st Two Rules

1) Don't think of the red apple.
2) Don't look to your kitchen and see / wonder what your kids or spouse is doing.
3) Don't imagine your pet dog walking around like Goofy.

Bet you had a hard time to NOT do any of the above!

Why?

Because there are certain words and instructions which the human brain does not register; the "don't" word being one of them.

This is one of the many exercises our trainees used to go through while I was running training workshops few years back. ( Stop trying already! )

As the training workshops back then was related to Personal Protection; one of the most important factors we always share with our participants in terms of personal, survival, security or law enforcement safety is:

How we talk to ourselves - a.k.a Self Talk

Admit it! Yes! We do talk to ourselves! Don't you? - such Self Talk not only applied to those physical altercations as taught during our training but also in our personal, professional lives.

We all do, be it in words, or even a feeling described as butterflies in the stomach; especially when you're on a date with a hunk/ babe but feels like they are James Bond or La Femme Nakita waiting to pull their guns out on you?

Rule 1 - Listen to the truth.

Learn to trust your gut and your instincts, they are usually right. Not all self-talk is silent and unconscious. Most of us have spent years saying something negative about ourselves over and over without understanding how this can affect us.(ADMIT IT!)

• “I’m just lousy with my dates! ”
• “I can’t read a map !"
• “I can't control my diet!"
• “I always can't remember where I left my phone in the kitchen”
• “I hate to talk in front of a crowd,”

...... and lots more.....

Work? Do you ever find yourself saying

• “I’m only an average employee”
• “My boss doesn’t like me”
• “I’m no good at reports”

...... and even lots more.....

Any of the above sounds familiar?

Rule 2 - protect yourself from the negative.

Like most things, this is easier said than done. You can walk into the gym and tell yourself, “I’m gonna love the run on the mill today!” or "I'm gonna love my workout today!"

But if you don’t change your behavior, your technique, or your attitude, you’re probably still going to hate it.

Examine why you hate the gym:

• Is the machine too hi-tech to use or too big for you?
• Have you tried to ask for help from the trainers? or are you reluctant to?
• Have you had some bad training / experience?

Fix the outside, and then change that negative self talk into a positive.

• “I’m gonna do great today because I asked the trainers for help!”
• “I’m gonna rock today because I finally figured how it works!”

Self talk isn't just about words, it’s also about behavior, attitude and actions

When you finish an hour on mill, 30 pushups, crunches etc. do you tell yourself:

• “Great job I did there!”

Or do you just say

• “Wow that was lucky.”

When the someone compliments you on your great workout, do you say

• “Thanks man!”

or do you just say

• “It was no big deal, it's a lucky day.”

This is our "Self Speak". We talk to ourselves everyday, the only challenge is most people tend to talk to themselves more on the negative end, rather than on the positive spectrum.

Hopefully with this first 2 rules and with practice, we are all able to slowly see how a simple shift in our own internal paradigm enables an increase in the positive energy everyone is capable of carrying.

Jason

Before You Accept That Job...

We have all heard about many different stories about employers choosing their candidates and how they always prevent bad hires.

Now, what if we switched the roles and how about we ourselves as job seekers, assess whether a potential employer and its managers, are worth joining?

I believe we have all followed bad managers or bosses at one point or another in our professional lives, no matter what work we're in, what level we're at, agreed? ( I see many of you nodding your heads ferociously )

1. Take notice of how the office works. 

What do you notice and what are your 1st signs of perception as you walk through the office? Are the folks focused with a positive energy or look negative with a grudge-like look? These would tell you a great deal about the culture, managerial styles etc

2. What do you think of the interviewer?

Your interviewer should respect you in the bare minimum. If an interviewer is rude or hostile, belittles you etc ( you get the idea ); what you see is what you get. 

Period.

3. How does your success look like in the position?

Ask how you can excel and the company's expectation of you to reach that stage. If the interviewer or manager you're talking to can't tell you that, it's already a red signal. You're likely to be surprised with different expectations than initially thought.


4. Are you asked questions that relate to your ability to do the job?

You need to be asked questions relevant to the job you're going to do; which assists the interviewers to assess you, and also to let yourself know if the role fits your own skill sets / if you have the skill sets to perform the role. It helps to bring alot of clarity to the table for both parties. If they don't ask, it is a possible sign the managers are good team builders  and it's likely to cause problems once you're on the job.

5. Who, what, when, why, how long is the position open?

Asking the 5W 1H brings alot of information to you about the role and the company.  Hearing about the experience of people in the job previously won't always be conclusive, but it can give you some insight into what the position might be like - or the company, and the management

6. Ask how he / she manages?

• "What type of person works best (or not that well )with you?"
• "What do you think of your management style?"
• "How do you let your staffs  know they're doing well / where they can improve?"
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It's never too late to start on anything.

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